By Liz Keast

Drop your hand-pieces, boys, and tune up your whistles, there will be no more jumping-the-fence-on the-night.

The purposeful preening, pruning and powdering of noses will justly prepare those who turn up to the A & P Easter Show Dance - Take care the faint-hearted or tennis-elbow'd (we wouldn't want to knock it).

Pete (the impossible pet sheep) that he is, is looking forward to the Hen Dance and talk of cat walk. On hearing that it had been seen on the 'Net, said he would be casting his very own (net) far and wide, as sheep are allowed more than just one.

"Now, that's sheep talk, Pete, and I have already told you it's for people, the dance, and you are not to go; otherwise I will have to disown you."

This I spoke to the top of his head, where deaf ears poked from either side as he bent over, busily polishing his 'feet.'

Obviously, the forthcoming Show Dance has set his imagination alight, seeing it as a new, reverse-role psychology exercise. According to Pete, he and his associates from Show Day will judge contestants in the ring (danse floor) on their social behaviour and presentation skills. Albeit a Milestone Show (100 years), the usual checking of teeth and other more tender parts would be waived for the occasion.

"Oh, your sensitivity runneth over, Pete," I told him as I peered into the shed, reaching for his collar chain and a padlock.

"Wait!" said he in an authoritative tone, "All money raised is off to our remaining relations, dealing with the devastation of foot and mouth across the water."

A momentary pause occured. As my hand slackened, the chain slid to the floor, after which I quietly closed the shed door, and we both fell silent on the matter...